The advent calendar craze has reached new heights of absurdity, with luxury brands offering increasingly odd and extravagant options for those seeking an unconventional countdown to Christmas. From pork scratchings to sex toys, no indulgence is off-limits in the quest to create the best weird advent calendars.
Spice up your life with 24 of the rarest and most scorching hot sauces known to man. Good luck keeping your eyebrows after ingesting extracts from the Ghost Pepper, Scorpion Pepper, and the Baby Its Chile Outside. You’ll be breathing fire like a dragon into 2025.
CREDIT: The Snaffling Pig
One of the most peculiar offerings comes from the British pork snack company, Snaffling Pig Co., which has unveiled a £24.95 “Pork Crackling Advent Calendar.” Yes, you read that correctly – 24 doors concealing a variety of pork crunchies, because what better way to celebrate the birth of Jesus than with a daily dose of rendered pig fat?
CREDIT: Lovehoney
For those seeking a more adult-oriented advent experience, Lovehoney has you covered with their “12 Nights of Seduction Advent Calendar.” Behind each door lies a tantalizing piece of lingerie, ensuring your significant other will be unwrapping more than just presents this holiday season. Who needs chocolate when you can have crotchless panties?
CREDIT: Paxton & Whitfield
If you’re a true gourmand, the £150 “Artisan Cheese Advent Calendar” from might be more your speed. Featuring 24 different wedges of artisanal cheese, this calendar promises to make your December a delightfully stinky affair.
And let’s not forget the “Drinks by the Dram Tequila Advent Calendar,” a £149.95 exercise in holiday debauchery (original price before the sale). Because nothing says “peace on earth” quite like slamming back a miniature bottle of tequila every morning before work.
For the cigar aficionado seeking an unconventional countdown to Christmas, the Oliva Advent Calendar Sampler offers a decadent array of 25 premium handmade cigars. From the bold Cain Maduro to the smooth Oliva Serie V Melanio, this calendar promises to elevate your holiday indulgence to new heights of smoky bliss. Because what better way to celebrate the season than with a daily dose of artisanal tobacco?
The long tail of the interweb caters to all curious and weird tastes with a disposable income to match. But have we strayed a tad too far from the true meaning of the advent calendar tradition. Then again, who are we to judge? If pork scratchings and lingerie bring you joy this Christmas season, by all means, indulge.
